


Just Purrrrrfect

by laurpas



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, ねこあつめ | Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector
Genre: Fluff, M/M, neko atsume: kitty collector!, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-30 00:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6400219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurpas/pseuds/laurpas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this: http://lamentaslair.tumblr.com/post/141721430837/modern-fenders-headcanon-one-day-fenris-catches</p><p>Basically, Fenris secretly falls in love with Neko Atsume and Anders can absolutely not know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Purrrrrfect

 

  “Fasta vass Anders will you not leave it be!” Fenris was currently struggling with the mage, trying desperately to get his phone back from the man who was holding it above his head while trying desperately to download something. He had one arm wrapped around Anders and was reaching upward with his other arm but found himself falling… Short.

  Grunting he jumped up a little, hand grasping, only to growl in frustration as Anders laughed at him and held his phone ever more out of his reach. 

  “You will pay for this mage,” he hissed, trying to jump again. 

  “You know, your threats would be much more intimidating if the punishments weren’t so enjoyable-” 

  “You-”

  “-And you so short-”

  “ _ Pain _ , mage-” Finally Anders took pity on him and handed over his phone, trying desperately not to burst into full-out laughter and failing miserably. Not that Fenris would have seen him, as he was too busy quickly scrolling through his phone and tapping at the screen. 

  “What did you do to it?” His black eyebrows were slanted downwards something fierce and he was worrying his lip, a sight that only made Anders smile more. 

  “Oh nothing,” he replied breezily, his grin only seeming to grow as Fenris’ frown deepened, like some perverse mathematical relation. “Just trying to inject a little light into your life.”

  “Anders-” His voice had taken on a warning tone, growing even deeper, and though it was surely a sign of his poor survival skills that somehow made Anders all the more pleased. “Wait, what?” Fenris had tapped the little square image of a benign, friendly looking cat ( _ of course Anders would have downloaded something like this)  _ and was now staring down at something he did not understand, sweet, cheery little videogame music peeping out of his phone’s speakers. 

  “That,” Anders replied, “is the best game for man to ever be graced with.”

  
  


  It was after the twenty-second time that Anders redownloaded Neko Atsume on his phone that Fenris finally gave up. (Or, perhaps, Anders finally stopped checking to see if he’d deleted it so that he could download it again.) Both men were stubborn, so,  _ so  _ stubborn, and while a part of Fenris wanted to continue deleting the app based on the principle of the thing alone he finally decided that it was harmless enough just sitting in one of the folders of his phone.

  Not that a part of him didn't enjoy the struggling and wrestling that would ensue whenever he realized that Anders had managed to snatch up his phone- or the things that it inevitably led to- but he could only fight the good fight for so long.

  For some time it sat in the rarely used “Games” folder on his phone, unassuming, until one fateful day when he found himself waiting in the lobby of a doctor’s office with absolutely nothing to do. Oh he could have flipped through the copy of  _ Entertainment Weekly  _ from 1998 that sat oh so appealingly next to him but he'd already done that, twice, and wasn't sure that he was desperate enough to go for a third round.

  Idly he took out his phone and began scrolling through it, opening and then closing the sudoku app on his phone, before doing the same thing with the two different word games he had. None of them held any appeal at the moment and he finally found himself drawn to the happy little cat face peering up at him.

_ Play me, _ it whispered, or rather mewed.  _ Anders loves me, doesn’t that count for something?  _

__ It was true that his boyfriend did love the game- It didn’t seem to matter that they had real cats at home or that the man worked in a shelter with cats every day. Every evening as they sprawled onto the couch together, exhausted from their respective days, Pounce snuggled between them, he would get out his phone and Fenris would hear the tell-tale music piping out from his speakers.

_ Plaaaay me _ , the cat enjoined, a little more pushy this time,  _ What’s the worst that could happen?  _

  Indeed, Fenris thought, what  _ was  _ so bad about it? It was just a silly phone game, wasn’t it?

  Deciding that, so long as Anders never,  _ ever  _ learned of it, it would be okay he opened the application. 

  Immediately he was greeted with that tell-tale music and, though he was the only one in the lobby besides an irritated looking receptionist sitting up at the front desk pretending as though she were not playing on  _ her  _ phone, he quickly turned off his phone’s sound in order to look back at the screen.

 

Welcome to Neko Atsume: Kitty Collector!

Let’s start attracting cats and filling your Catbook!

 

  He raised an eyebrow and tapped on the screen, quickly read through the instructions, and then tapped it again. 

 

First, let’s buy a good ‘ol Rubber Ball. 

 

  Momentarily he frowned. What if he didn’t  _ want  _ to buy a rubber ball? Pounce seemed to have no care for playing with toys, more content to be scratched and fed by Anders, but Fenris finally shrugged and gave in, purchasing it.

  60 sardines? What a strange, whimsical unit of currency. It almost made him want to smile- Almost. Instead he continued through the tutorial, finally purchasing and then placing the ball before adding the Thrifty Blitz food to his yard, only for another message to pop up.

  “Come back?” He muttered, partly in confusion and partly in irritation. Why were cats not showing up immediately? He wanted cats. He had purchased the ball, bought the food- He had done everything right-

  “Ah- Fe- Fenris, is it?” He looked up at the interruption, accidentally shooting the doctor waiting by the door with a glare before schooling his expression once more.

  “Yes, thank you,” he said, slipping his phone back in his pocket and rising from the chair. Later, he promised himself, later he would check the app to see if it was working properly or not. He had purchased the rubber ball, after all.

  
  


  “What are you doing?” 

  Fenris jumped slightly, instantly locking the screen on his phone and shoving it into his pocket before turning to look back at Anders with what he hoped was a non-suspicious look on his face.

  “Texting back a friend,” he replied smoothly, raising an eyebrow as if to say,  _ So? _

__ “Hm, you seemed pretty intent on whoever you were texting back…” There was a glimmer of something in Anders’ eyes and for one heart-stopping moment Fenris thought that he might have discovered his secret.

  “It was… An intense conversation.”

  “Oh- I- Should you get back to them then?” True to his nature Anders’ face scrunched up in concern when Fenris told him this, all notes of teasing gone from his voice. It made Fenris feel guilty, to lie to him like this, but Maker forbid if Anders ever found out about his new obsession- He’d  _ never  _ let him live it down.

  Thinking about how Tubbs, easily his favorite of the cats he had so far found, had shown up again Fenris nodded.

  “Yes- If you wouldn’t mind- I would appreciate it.” Without another word he stalked away, fingers itching to open his phone again and resume his playing.

  
  


  They were over at Hawke’s, hanging out and casually drinking. It wasn’t really much of a party but Fenris enjoyed nights like this nonetheless, simply sitting in the company of his friends and drinking. Sitting on the couch beside him was Anders, talking animatedly about Neko Atsume with Merrill who, to the surprise of absolutely no one, had fall head first into the game.

  “I love Tubbs, he’s just so-” Anders made some motion with his hands that was supposed to convey his adoration and continued, “He’s just so fluffy and-”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that…” Merrill’s reply was quieter and though Fenris was trying hard not to listen in on their conversation he couldn’t help but hear it. “He just eats so much of my food and leaves me with so little fish! I don’t know how you don’t lose all your money with him Anders.”

  “Well that’s easy,” Anders started to reply only to be interrupted by Fenris who spoke without thinking.

  “You’re not supposed to refill the bowl until  _ after  _ he’s gone-” 

  For a moment there was stunned, awkward silence, not even the music playing over in the other room able to make up for it, as both Anders and Fenris realized the implications of what the elf had just blurted out.

  Fenris’ entire face began to heat up and he resolutely turned his gaze down into his cup, willing the sofa to swallow him up, dammit for once in his life could the Maker answer his stupid prayers-

  “Oh Fenris I didn’t know you played!” Merrill chirped from the other side of Anders, leaning forward to look at him with wide eyes, as if she wasn’t noticing his very obvious embarrassment at all. “But thank you, I’ll try to do that next time to see if that makes any difference! Oh, what’s your favorite cat? Let me guess- Xerxes because he’s so regal but looks so grumpy all the time.”

  And now the red was traveling up to his ears and down to his chest. Lovely. Still, as Merrill continued to chat on he could not help but sneak a look back up at Anders who was staring at him with a shit-eating grin. 

_ Damn you _ , he silently cursed the sweet, unassuming-looking cat that had originally called to him from his phone. This was going to be terrible- But he had survived worse, he told himself. He ever half-believed it.  

  Anders’ eyes gleamed as he said in a voice that was just low enough for Fenris’ hear, “You have  _ got  _ to be  _ kitten  _ me.”

_ No _ , Fenris’ eyes pleaded for mercy,

  “You’ll never get out of this  _ meow  _ Fenris,”

_ Please,  _ Maker this was worse than the elf could have ever imagined.

  “This is  _ just purrrrrfect _ .”

  Fenris hung his head and Anders’ grin got wider. 

**Author's Note:**

> come bother me with more puns at lorpus.tumblr.com


End file.
